First thing this morning I got a text from a dear, sweet friend telling me she left a gift on my front porch. It made me smile and reminded me no matter what today brought I had friends, family, prayers and most of all God on my side!

I had my pre-op appt. today. My dad (Papa) and Linda (Mimi-my step-mom) came up to stay the kids. And my mom (Granny) met me at the dr.'s office (both parents drive from the South side of Houston through traffic to be here and I appreciate it). Once at MDA I go through my usual routine, check-in, get wrist band, get weighed (why do these scales always say I weigh more than I do at home?  Ha Ha), BP, Heart rate, and temperature. Then I go back to a room and wait for my dr.'s team to come in. First, the nurse-Misti, she's as sweet as can be and has curly black hair (kinda like mine-except I am blonde). She asks a few questions and then explains my day, Katie (my dr.'s PA) will come in, then Dr. Fitzsullivan, then Misti again and then over to ST. Luke's (where my surgery will take place) for my pre-op over there! Now I can see why they told me to expect 2-3 hours for this appt. After a few typical questions-has anything changed since last visit, have I fallen, taken any new meds., etc.? Misti leaves and next in came Katie.

Katie is another wonderful person, so caring (can you see the trend of why I love the team of people that are responsible for my treatment-everyone needs to be on a team like this if you have cancer). She asked how I was doing and explained how much she hates being the bearer of bad news by telling me I had cancer and how sorry she was. Katie said most patients already know they have cancer once they get there, so she doesn't have to break the news often. I explained to her that in my heart I already knew, it was more Rob that had been in denial-or hoping it wasn't cancer. We briefly discussed my friend, Kristi and Katie know each other. Katie is her PA as well and is treated at the same facility. Katie then proceeded to tell me by knowing Kristi that I was now on her favorite people list, along with Kristi! (Thanks Kristi!). Katie went over the MRI report once again and really thought the 2 spots were truly 2 spots. She also said the MRI didn't pick up any activity in my Lymph nodes. However, that doesn't mean it's not in them, only surgery can for sure tell us that. And, my right side looks completely clear.

Katie leaves and next in comes Dr. Fitzsullivan. I am in great hands, this is a GREAT breast cancer surgeon. She is so caring, patient, takes her time and just an all around great person. She asks if I'm ok, repeats the same information that Katie has just told me. So appreciative of this because hearing it again is great for comprehension. We then discuss what my surgery will include. I will be given a solution that is injected into my breast that will travel up the lymph nodes (I heard this shot is very painful). This is so they can see where the lymph nodes are to easily remove them during surgery. Dr. Fitzsullivan describes the surgery like this: First, she'll remove my nipple (yes, I said it, remove it..gone, finished, no more!). This is because breast cancer starts in the milk ducts-so, where do the milk ducts take milk-to the nipple and this is where cancer would come back if the nipple stayed. Therefore, it's a goner! We can, with the help of my plastic surgeon and a little tattooing recreate another one-or I can not have one!  Hmmm, no more worrying about your nipple showing through clothes, wow, that sounds kinda nice! Maybe I shouldn't have one! To Be Continued! Next, she explains about removing several lymph nodes, testing them right away and either leaving the rest if no cancer is present or removing all if there is cancer. The first set of lymph nodes are the 'gatekeepers' or the technical term Sentinel lymph nodes. Surgery should last 2-3 hours. I, of course, asked the question if my surgery will be shorter because I have such a small chest. And, yes, it will be shorter!  ha ha! And finally, my plastic surgeon, Dr. Gordley will come in and place the spacers, fillers, expanders, foreign objects, (whatever you want to call them) in under the pectoralis muscle. OUCH!  This is where most of my pain will come from. The cutting of the muscle and it stretching. Thankfully, after surgery, the stretching will be a slower process because Dr. Gordley will add fluid through a syringe weekly, monthly (?) until I reach my desired size. I've heard these fillers are uncomfortable. Picture a hard plastic bag that will be filled over time, stretching the muscle out. And this portion of the surgery will take another hour. I will stay in the hospital over night and possibly 2 nights, all depending on my pain tolerance. My last question to Dr. Fitzsullivan was how will all this affect my future mammograms? GUESS WHAT?  I never have to have another mammogram again! Sweet! I had 3 within a month, 4 within 2 years and Never again do my boobs have to be squeezed in that hard machine! Ok, so honestly I guess my boobs will be gone, but needless to say I'm done with that part of it! But, I will still have check ups at MDA. The dr. said if a cancer came back in my breasts, it'd be on the surface and I'd probably see the lumps. They would be right under the skin, on top of my implants. Both Katie and Dr. Fitzsullivan did tell me to prepare for Chemo. It'd be about a 4-6 month treatment. But this is for the Oncologist to determine after my surgery pathology reports are back. However, because of my age, I need to prepare for it. Radiation is still up in the air and that depends on the lymph nodes. So, here would be my year in a nutshell. Surgery, 4 weeks later, start chemo. Four weeks after chemo is completed I would start radiation (if necessary) and then once the radiation is clear from my system, I'd be able to have my final reconstructive surgery. This surgery is when the fillers are removed and the final implants are placed in. This would be done as an outpatient procedure. They all say it's a super easy surgery! And, that's about it, Dr. Fitzsullivan leaves.  **Footnote: I have an IUD for birth control and that has to come out because of the hormones it produces. I won't be able to take birth control pills but the chemo or Tamoxifen may send me into menopause! I'm so glad I have 3 beautiful, healthy children!** TBC.

And finally, Misti comes back in to explain my procedures once I'm home. I will go home bandaged up. I will have 2 drains. These drains will stay in for 2 weeks. I can remove the bandages and shower 2 days after surgery with the drains. I have to drain the drains (ha ha) twice a day and record how much fluid I get out. This seems like a pretty easy process, just maybe a little cumbersome and maybe annoying to have tubes and little bottles hanging out!  But oh well. Misti leaves and we (my mom and I) are free to go. We head across the way to St. Luke's.

Once at St. Luke's, I go to admitting, answer a few questions and then we wait in the Lobby for a long time. Maybe 30 minutes. But, glad my mom is there. Once I'm called back, a nurse draws blood, I leave a urine sample, they (once again) record my weight. I answer more questions like am I sexually active-huh? I'm married why is this important! Anyway, after those questions, I go to get a chest x-ray. Otis (love his name), Otis does my x-ray. He was so sweet! He told me I could put my necklace in my mouth to prevent it from dangling. Then told me to take off my bra. (But not my shirt?). I said this bra-(like duh, yea that one)-the one I have on? Well, thank goodness Lululemon carries great yoga type bras, because Otis said, oh that-no you don't have to remove it, it's not a real bra! Then, one x-ray facing the machine and the other sideways. Super easy, done! Otis walked my mom and I out, cut both wrist bands (yes I had to get a 2nd one at St. Luke's) off and I was done!

My mom and I head home to a great surprise! The kids (with the help of mimi & papa) baked a cake, had candles and a picture of Hawaii...Yes, we are going to Hawaii before my surgery!  We all need it and the kids are thrilled! We had a little luau party! Emma was in her "Hawaiian" swim suit and feels the need to buy "Hawaiian" clothes! Thanks for this 'pick me up!'

I think back to a story I read and how this process so far has not been hard. See, I've given my worries to God. He wants to worry for me, he doesn't want me to worry, nor does he want me to worry about tomorrow. Let's tackle today, today and worry about tomorrow, tomorrow. God is my shield, my shield that protects me from the evil arrows the devils throws at me (and you). Everyday the devil is trying to hit us with his arrows. Did you do something mean today that is out of character? That is the devil. Put your shield up each and every day, ward off those arrows. The devil is trying to get to me with cancer and I WON'T LET HIM. See God is STRONGER, is more POWERFUL than anything and I have him on my side, he is my SHIELD. We can't worry about things that are out of our control, it's not good for us or anyone around us, it's really not going to help any situation by worrying.

This morning before I went to MDA I read about 2 saints. St. Agatha is the saint of breasts. (funny huh?). Well, when she was young she was tortured because she wouldn't worship false God's. Her torturers used pinchers to pinch her breasts off. That night St. Peter healed her breasts. (she later died from being further tortured).
The other saint was St. Peregrine of Laizosi. He wasn't always a great guy, but later became a better person who prayed daily and liked to help people. He developed cancer in his foot and was going to have it amputated. The night before his surgery, he prayed below the crucifix and fell into a deep sleep. He dreamt that Jesus came down from the cross and touched his foot. When St. Peregrine awoke his foot was healed. Therefore, he became known as the St. for cancer.

Thanks so much for all the kind texts, emails, notes, gifts, phone calls and words when I see you. It really does help and it is so appreciated. It really does make me feel good. Don't hesitate to ask questions, I'm open (can you tell?), or we don't have to talk about it. I don't get rattled easy, I can talk about anything!

My surgery is Tues. Aug. 12, 8 am. I have to be there at 6am. I assume I'll be in surgery most of the morning! I'll try to post that afternoon-haha, Type A planner here! And if I do, I'm not responsible for how silly I may sound-Loopy is not my strong suit. If not, surely I'll get to it within a day or 2!