I just have to share my excitement...even though I won't post this until later, I had to type in the moment!

Part I (8am)

I'M SO FLIPPIN PUMPED TODAY IS IT...THE LAST...THE END!

Yes, I know I have surgery in a few months, many more regular dr. visits, BUT to have this day has been a long time coming.  I've been through 5 months of chemo, lost my hair (including facial hair-you should see the fuzz growing on my face!), 6 weeks of daily radiation and to know that I really don't have anything to look forward to, EXCEPT my life. I can think about vacations, celebrations, kids, Rob, family...I can face it all knowing I AM FINISHED treating my cancer!  Sure, I'm rambling, but I feel like a kid Christmas Eve!!  I want to shout it out....I AM FINISHED...I AM DONE!

I know not all can celebrate, please pray for those just beginning their fight and especially those that are losing the battle. Not all battles fought can be won, that's where God comes to the rescue.

Part II (4pm)

And so the celebration begins....with chaos!! Natalie asked to be a part of my ringing today, so I checked her out of school and as I pulled into the parking lot of the hospital I realized I had forgotten a box of bundt cakes for all the radiation techs that have so graciously been at my side for the last 6 weeks. To the rescue my friend Jen M...so kind to drive back to my house and grab them and race back up to the hosp! THANK YOU!!!

Once I was in the hosp, my mom and I walked back to my last appointment, the techs once again allowed her to come in and see the machine and explain the process of radiation, oh and the door to the radiation room, it weighs 8,000lbs!  A few days ago I noticed a red area on my back shoulder. So I asked the techs and it is the exit area of my radiation. Because it was on my back, I couldn't see the exact line around the red and it's now obvious it was from radiation. WOW, who knew there was an exit area. That area is red and definitely more freckled than the other side-think sunburn. One of my areas of radiation was up around my neck, the machine was lined up at an angle and that was so the radiation could avoid my spine, it can safely exit and not hit anything important.  Another amazing thing I learned on my last day.

As I laid on the table for the very last time, the techs read my measurements, aligned the machine and said "here we go!" (they said this everyday) and out of the room they walked. As I quietly laid there all alone, the emotional ending to it all finally hit me. Tears rolled down my face as I lay quietly listening to the sound of my very last radiation. I repeatedly thanked God for saving my life.
Within seconds it was all over and all I had to do was get dressed and RING THAT BELL!!

I walked down the hall where my friends and family greeted me. I was handed a plaque to read before I rang my bell, and this is what it said: (I'll attach a picture, think of all the people that have held this in their hand and read these same words)

RING THIS BELL
THREE TIMES WELL
ITS TOLL TO CLEARLY SAY,

MY TREATMENT'S DONE
THIS COURSE IS RUN
AND, I AM ON MY WAY!

I could barely make it through the last words.

I quickly drove Natalie back to school (she wanted to go back) and met my friends and family for lunch (see picture), Rob is absent as he had a work trip he could not miss-in Las Vegas (humm). I know he is here in spirit!
Lunch was great, so fun to sit and relax-Thank you! I'm sure I'll find something to do on those no more chemo Fridays and I won't miss the daily drive to & from radiation.

And so, for now, Here I am, on my way, it is done, it is over, no more!
THE END!

Approaching this final week of radiation (and all cancer treatments) I have a bitter sweet feeling. Most people probably question why bitter?  I'm finished-right?  The end of this week means I'm finished with treatments, but it also means regular check-ups and the constant question or worry of 'Is my cancer coming back?' While I was undergoing chemo and radiation, I didn't need to worry about my cancer coming back. It couldn't. So, as this week began I prayed, I was in constant prayer. The same as I did when I was first diagnosed. I repeatedly told myself to have faith. "If you have faith the size of a mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, move from here to there and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you." Matt 17:20.  I constantly told myself this and reminded myself if I have doubt, I don't have faith. The devil is putting the doubt in my mind. Monday came and went and I didn't once think about doubting my faith of a long and happy life. Today, Tuesday, no doubt! Pure excitement and rejoicing. I once again remember another favorite bible verse. "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, on your own intelligence do not rely. In all your ways be mindful of Him and He will make straight your paths!" Prov. 3:5-6. I just needed a little reassurance that I have fought the good fight and with God on my side anything is possible!
Therefore I celebrate one more time...I celebrate with another long and loud ring of a bell. Radiation will be completed by noon on Friday! It has not been hard, it has not been difficult. When I look back and reflect on chemo, I feel as though it was an eternity ago. An eternity ago that I was poked weekly by an ugly needle and awful, ugly, life saving drugs flowed through my body. The bell I will ring will signify the end, the end of my treatments. And so once again, raise your glasses, honk your horns, sound your bells, this one is it!

1 Corinthians 9:24-27
Do you not know that all the runners in the stadium all run in a race but only one wins the prize? Run as to win....

2 Timothy 4:7
I have competed well; I have finished the race, I have kept my faith...from now on the crown of righteousness awaits me, which the Lord, the just judge, will award to me on that day, and not only to me, but to all who have longed for his appearance.

I have run my race, the greatest marathon of my life and I have won! Faith carried me, Faith lifted me up, and I thank each and everyone of you who prayed for me and my family.

My prayers are for you, I want each of you to win the race....

I must've spoke too soon, radiation is still going awesome. However, last week my skin & muscles  all of a sudden got very tight! This is all normal and nothing stretching all day doesn't cure.  However, it is so tight and really hurts to stretch all of it. But I know the more I do, the more pain I suffer through now the better it'll all be down the road! I can't explain the feeling, maybe when your skin is tight around a scab, except this is the entire chest area. I honestly feel like I'm pulling apart my muscles, but I know they are only being stretched and not literally ripping. The dr. says this is all normal and stretching is the best thing for that area.
All that being said, I'M ALMOST FINISHED!!! Today I can actually feel like I can count down. No longer do I have to count the weeks, but now I can count the days. 9 to go! And, I learned last week that I can really start celebrating as this week (only 4 more) will be the end of the "all over chest" treatments. The final 5 days are what they call a 'boost' treatment. It will be just the superficial treatment-the electron therapy, not a deep tissue or proton therapy. Studies have shown if the cancer comes back, it will most likely come back in the incision area. Therefore, my scar (it's currently treated with the all over area) will get an extra 5 days of radiation. I'll go in for a quick zap of my incision and my muscles can start recovering. Today I got marked for that treatment. I currently have a blue circle with a dot in the middle right on top of my incision (where a nipple would be) and now I have a green box around it-totally looks like a target. And I'm told not to let it wash off. Great-water, sweat, clothes-all those have made many of my marks disappear each day and therefore the techs have to constantly reapply (and that is normal).
Rob came with me the other day and the techs were so gracious to let him come in my room and see all the equipment and explain the process. I even was able to see my x-rays. The tech pointed out my heart and how they can tell when my breath's are deep enough to separate the heart from the ribs.  Rob even said he had no idea this process was so in depth. I know I say it all the time, but I'm still amazed!

I read something the other day that really resonated with me. Sometimes we all feel a bit weak. Are we weak in parenting, being a spouse, work, juggling our daily routines, etc.? If we could all just remember Jesus is strong where we are weak. During chemo I didn't realize I was weak, and I felt strong because Jesus was my strength, he picked up where I needed him most. My family, my routines went on as usual and it's all because the prayers (from everyone) to the Lord above and He picked me up when I needed Him most. "My grace is enough to cover and sustain you. My power is made perfect in weakness." 2 Corinthians 12:9

Count down the days with me. I get to ring the bell again, this time its for the end of radiation. But I'm also feeling the bell will be ringing for the end of treatments. Rob will be out of town and it will be a nice quiet bell ringing, no big hoopla like it was for the end of chemo. But, on Friday March 27th will mark the end of it all. (Well, the final surgery in August is just icing.) My treatments, my days, will become normal again and the focus will turn away from me and back to my family!  I'm so thankful for it all.

Thanks again for everything!  love, hugs and prayers to you!

Radiation is going wonderful!  I'm 3 ½ weeks in and I have 2 ½ weeks to go!!  WOOHOO!!  My skin is a little tight, the muscle feel stiff, but with constant stretching I'm keeping everything loose.
Radiation still continues to amaze me each day. How do they know exactly what, when, where are the best places for my treatments-or anyones treatment! Through the glory of God that's how. Doctors & researchers have been given an amazing talent! And I'm so thankful! Today I was asking a few more questions. I hear different sounding noises from the radiation machine. Some sounds are the x-rays I get each day (once a week I get more than normal), and then some sounds & positions of the machine are different type of rays! I get proton and electron therapy. From what I can recall from the tech telling me, (I wasn't good at science either) the proton is a deeper, more intense ray. The electrons, used around my chest and cleavage area are shallow rays. These shallow rays are what cause my skin to itch and burn. AHA, no wonder I'm only somewhat red in this area and not the other places where the proton therapy is applied. In a previous post I mentioned the 'cone' type thing they attach to the machine. Well that cone, as it is called, is for the electron therapy, allowing it to get the superficial areas of the skin.  The tech assured me they were zapping all my lymph nodes in the area of my chest as well as any area that could possibly have any cancer cell in it. Simply amazing. It really isn't getting old. I'm enjoying getting to know more about my treatment and the wonderful job these technicians do. What a rewarding career.
Oh, the hair...is it finally coming back?  YEP!  Well, let's just say I look like a young Sinead O'Connor. It looks that dark, there's a bit of blonde still on the ends, but not much!  And my eyebrows are still longer than my hair-soon, very soon...Maybe in a few weeks I'll be able to shed the hats and by then, hopefully it'll be warm enough to walk outside with a short do!

Thank you for your continued prayers and support!