DONE...DONE...DONE...DONE with 12 rounds of Taxol!!  OMG, I never thought we'd get here..yes, I did. But I never expected it to be SO quick, SO uneventful!  Taxol ruined me for my next 4 of AC, with hair still intack, and minor side effects I'm so spoiled. I'm actually hoping for the best, expecting a little nausea and some tiredness. But C'mon-I GOT THIS!!  I THINK I CAN, I THINK I CAN, I THINK I CAN...Said The Little Engine That Could!  One of my favorite childhood stories. And a story I often would tell many of my girls on my track and cross country teams. The mind leads the body...I THINK I CAN...and guess what?  YOU CAN, YOU DO AND YOU DID!

So for the last 12 weeks I have been so Thankful for so many things...So many, many, many things!  I want to say a big THANK YOU, family, friends, neighbors, Galatas, Mitchell, St. Anthony, MDAnderson, St. Luke's, my Friendswood girls, strangers, my kids, my Rob, y'all got me this far,  and you'll get me 8 more weeks. I love you all and am so very Thankful y'all are in my life.

And did you see my latest picture, Emma was my chemo dr. first thing this morning! She couldn't wait to don the outfit and fix me up!!!  Love that girl, toothless and all. Man she looks like a little homeless person! C'mon teeth!!


Have a very Happy Thanksgiving. Be Thankful, today is the day to share in your Thanksgiving of what God gave us.

OOPS...I dare I forget to mention that Rob and I celebrated 14 years on Tuesday! Never did I imagine that when we said "through sickness and in health" would I predict sickness would come before we had grandchildren, but it did and here we are.  It's been a great 14 years, this little rocky road has not changed that. Rob has been to every appointment & chemo treatment with me. He has been there for me every step of the way and I wouldn't change one single thing. I love him more than I did the day we married and I grow to love him more each and every day. Thank you Rob!

Uno Mas...!  1 more Taxol!!!  I'm so excited to get this done on Wednesday!  I'm ready for AC, I'm ready to get on with the 'red devil' and just get it all behind me!!

As my newest picture shows a 'perk' of being a cancer patient. When the valet is busy, I can park in this designated spot and run in to give blood. I don't like it, I prefer not to, but if I have to go give blood, get poked by needles, give my stupid medical ID, get weighed, BP, temperature, etc. all the time, I might as well park there.

On one of my other pictures is a pink, iron horseshoe ribbon that my neighbor Erin gave me. It sits in my yard under a pink hibiscus bush. How ironic that last year all my hibiscus bushes froze and the only color the store had were pink. Really? Well, I've noticed that every Friday, yes, every Friday there is a pink hibiscus staring at me. Seriously, last week, the freezing weather, it flowered. Today, raining, it flowered!  I love it, someone is talking to me!

This week has been slow, I've skipped boot camp as I came down with a cold. A simple cold, the doctor had me give blood to have my WBC checked. If they were low, I'd have to have a WBC boost. Thankfully they were not. With chemo I cannot have any prescription meds. UGH. I did not know this. I had to just let the cold run it's course. And can you believe it, it's gone, within a few days. Even though my counts are lower than normal, I have felt ok. However, I didn't go to boot camp because I didn't want to make it worse by being in the cold air. I already miss BC!!! Also, this week I've noticed I've lost my taste buds. Fruits, Salads, Oatmeal, snickers, but not reese's peanut butter cups, taste fine. Breads, meats, not so much. Funny, I'm trying foods just to see if I can taste them. The nurse said today that some people lose taste, and some get a metallic taste. Thank you I'll take losing them over metal! Now, if I can't taste food, then why eat?  UGH, still eating (says the scale), just not enjoying it...UGH UGH!  Ha Ha!!

Today is pretty uneventful. Treatment as usual, and then hustled up to school to see 2 kids 'Thanksgiving songs, games, activities!' What fun!!  I then later went to work Jennifer's Booth at the Jr. League Market. So much fun to celebrate her 6th year of this successful event working for her! It's something I've done every year and I love supporting her and getting to 'people watch!' Oh, and I'll blame my chemo brain for wearing 2 different earrings (I tried 2 different ones on to see what looked best and never changed them). Oops!!

This Thanksgiving I have so many things to be thankful for I'm not even going to list them all. However, I will say I'm most thankful for my Faith in God, my friends, my family & my Strength!!  This year I think we can all sit back and count our many blessing, literally-sit back & count them!!

Today, I got to see another strong, strong lady that I so deeply admire. Mrs. Grimsrud, many of you from Friendswood will know her & her family. She lived around the corner from my grandmother when my mom was growing up. I went to school with her youngest daughter, and all her family know my dad and Linda. She had breast cancer a few years back and has bounced back and is stronger than ever!  She's an amazingly strong lady, has great faith, and is just a wonderful lady that spreads joy wherever she goes! Hugging her today, multiple times, gives me such a boost of strength! (Her advice for coping with AC, Wendy's frosty's-hummm, I don't know where a Wendy's is???)

So, I've heard from many of my 'little' supporters. My friends kids. It is amazing what you all are teaching your little ones. The power of prayer. Some kiddos are reading my blog, some too young and just hear from you. YOU all give me so much strength and courage to continue to fight and be strong. One day, unfortunately some of these little girls will undergo this same diagnosis and it breaks my heart. One day, hopefully we can find a cure, a way to stop all this nonsense and my course of treatments will be 'what they did in the olden days'!! While I was recovering from surgery, I got a card from a group of ladies that meet each week to pray. They pray for our children, our schools and the families in our schools. They are Mom's in Prayer. This is an international group and is not a school sponsored group. There is a formality about the meeting, a guideline as to which prayers are prayed and how we pray for the students. However, this group is very informal and just a great group of ladies. They invited me to a meeting and I decided to go one Monday. It just so happened that it was at a friends house, walking distance from me and I knew every lady there! I've continued to go for several weeks now and I look forward to seeing them each Monday. On that same note, the mom that hosts the meeting has daughters that are my kiddos ages. Today at the Thanksgiving celebration, she asked me to say something to her daughter. To show her that I'm ok. This family, these little girls pray for me each night and it was so touching to hug her and thank her for her sweet prayers. To show her I'm ok, to show her her prayers are working! As I hugged her today, I hugged each of my 'little supporters' that I don't see, but I know you are praying for me!  THANK YOU, ALL OF YOU!

Have a great break from school, be safe in your travels and don't eat too much!!  Ha Ha!

Love, hugs, prayers and many thanks for all of you each and everyday who think of me. I think of you too!

2- Dos Mas!!!!

And only a week and half left of Taxol!!!  So pumped!  I'm a little excited to get going on the AC. The sooner that starts, the sooner I'll get done with all this and I'll never look back!!

Chemo went fine and I having to us an IV wasn't so bad. (see below why I used an IV and not my port). It definitely has become a routine. I just get in a room, open the blinds, get comfortable, find something on TV to have on, but not really watch and just hunker down waiting for the drip to begin.
Oh, the best part about today...I had 2 warm blankets, my normal 'chemo' blanket AND, the snack station had hot chocolate!!!  Made my day! And even better, Rob made it! It was the best (shhh, don't tell him)!! It's always cold in the rooms and the chairs are vinyl so not warm at all!  Other than that chemo was just fine and on with our day we went!!

Like I've said before, sitting around makes you think more. Before Cancer, I knew life could change at any moment, I thought about it and really tried to take it all in and enjoy life. However, until you have something life changing happen to you, you really don't understand or feel how quick it all can change. I really am trying not to let the little things bother me. I know I have control of my life and the kids, etc. But do I really? Or does God? I know if he leads me to a path, I need to open my eyes and see it for what it is. I can't ignore the signs. Do you ever ignore the signs? Do you see the every day miracles? The near miss of a car accident, the urge to pick up the phone and call someone? And just now, as I'm typing. Something urged me to get up and check Nathan's backpack for a book he needs to finish for a report due next Wed., sure enough he forgot it at school. Thankfully, it's early, the teachers are still there, and we live 2 min. away and his teacher met me in the lobby with it! Why do we ignore these signs? Why do we ignore God tugging at our sleeves? We all need to take time to sit, relax, enjoy each other and maybe even have each person name something they are thankful for, something God gave us that day! Maybe I'm losing a little A and becoming more just Type A, not AA. I'll  never lose both A's, I like it! I'll never go to the other side and don't really want to! No offense to you Type B-You rock it and are good at it, it's just not me! ;)

I wouldn't say this week has been rough, but different than most!  Apparently doing toe push-ups and a ton of arm movement exercises isn't what my body liked last week (I accidentally went straight into a toe pushup without thinking-and then realized I could do them, so I proceeded along).  I thought boot camp had been going well, but Thursday (a week ago) workout (which felt fine at the time) told my body different come Saturday morning. I woke up in a lot of pain, on my left side only. The side where the cancer was, the side without lymph nodes. By Saturday afternoon, my left side had swollen, noticeably, and by Sunday morning I was really irritated. UGH!!! Come Monday it was better, but still lop sided. I went to boot camp Tuesday and really cut back on what I had been doing. By Wednesday the swelling was still obvious and painful. I decided to call Dr. Gordley and got an appointment early Thursday am. Dr. Gordley didn't say much, had no real explanation why the swelling was there or that I should or shouldn't be doing what I was doing. However, he drained almost 70cc (almost 3oz) of fluid!!!  Yes, that was an entire cup size on one side!! I left his office feeling much better and just dealing with muscle soreness now.  Sure enough, I woke up Friday and felt like a balloon about to burst! My left side is still swollen and sore.
Thursday was also my 3 week check up with Dr. Nelson. After seeing Dr. Gordley I went to St. Lukes to give blood and I really don't like this one lady that draws it. I don't always get her, but have had her the most. She's the same one who way back when poked around so much I had bruises up and down my arm. Last week she drew from the side vein in my arm and today, thankfully stuck me in the normal spot, although she shoved the needle so far in I could barely see it on the outside of my arm.  UGH, UGH!
On to Dr. Nelson's office. Long story short, everything looks good. My blood work actually peeked, not like a normal person, but everything was higher today than in each of the past 3 weeks. (Maybe it's because I've been adding fresh spinach and watercress to my blended fruit drinks every day-we'll see if that holds true for the next 3 weeks!) He said it's good because I'm 3 weeks away from starting AC and the stronger I am going in, the better!  I then showed him my port. It started irritating me Wednesday and was noticeably red. I can feel the muscles pulling and just not comfortable. And I think the location is bad, bra straps, tank top straps, etc. rub right over it.  He said it is irritated and there's a risk for infection. UGH, UGH, UGH!!! He told me not use the port for chemo tomorrow, use an IV. I had to cover it with gauze and hopefully by Friday it'll be better. The last thing I want is an infection or worse, have to have it removed and another one put it-or chemo via an IV from here on out!!

Side effects are still minimal. Hot flashes are common, but not too often. Food doesn't taste great, some things taste fine, but not everything-mostly restaurants have a bland taste. And I crave nothing, maybe soup and that's about it. However, the scale shows I'm eating just fine! Still get a little blurry eyes the day of and a few days after chemo. I get bloody noses, but only when I blow my nose-which is often because of the dryness and cold. Probably has something to do with the new cells not regenerating fast enough because of the chemo. I am very thankful for it all, because it could be way worse!

Other than that I have to say I CANNOT STAND THE COLD!!!  Brrrrrrrrrr.  Not only is my head cold, my neck is too! I didn't like the winter before and having little to no hair makes it that much worse. This Winter is going to be a true test to my mental state as a Southern girl who likes the heat and humidity!!!  I will be more than ready for the hot sun and then I'll have to deal with my head getting sun burned!!  ha ha!!  Oh the joys of cancer!

3, Three, Tres, Trois TO GO!!! So flipping excited!!!  I'm ready to get on with the AC!!  I don't want to rush the holidays and I"m trying to sloooooowwwww down, trying, but really, I just want it all to hurry up and get here and "get er done!"

Finally, Finally, I applied the lidocaine on twice before I got stuck with chemo needle! And I didn't feel a thing! You'd think I'd learn sooner, better late than never! I got a good look at it today and that sucker is as big as a large safety pin!  And they have to push it in to get it in the port!  Speaking of the port, did you know it's sewn to my muscles. No wonder I feel a pulling, no wonder it's not comfortable. UGH...!  Oh well, only 7 more times to 'prick' it!!

I know my posts can get long and wow it sure seems like I have a lot to say. I am overwhelmed with the amount of people who tell me on a daily basis how they love my posts! WOW, y'all that is so humbling, so appreciative. I didn't intend it to be this way, but you know, when you hear those words "you have cancer, " you can't hide! When you have a double mastectomy you can't deny what's happening to you. You can't go through chemo and remain weak on the other side. You become stronger, stronger than you were before. You do a lot of soul searching. You dig down deep to over come demons. I haven't seen any-Yet, but I fight, I use my shield OF GOD to ward off the arrows of the devil.  He's trying, he's trying to get to all of us and he tried with cancer-I got news for him...AIN'T GONNA HAPPEN, NOPE, NODDA, NOT HERE, NOT WITH ME!  Therefore, in my daily fight, I dig down and out comes what I post-It's what's in my heart.  I won't say I've changed. I've brought to the forefront what I've always had. I know I'm strong, I know I'm positive and I know I love GOD. Add all that up and here you have it. AND you know, I'm getting stronger, more positive, and even closer to GOD with each and every week that passes.

As I was standing at Emma's soccer practice the other day a friend and I were talking about all the support I get from all of you! IT IS ABSOLUTELY AMAZING!!! Here's what it feels like. Picture me standing on a huge field, bigger than a football field, maybe like several fields together. I'm standing there, my family right behind me, God next to me and each and every single one of you behind me. YOU are holding me up. YOU are walking this walk with me. YOU are giving me strength. YOU are keeping my attitude positive. YOU are going to each chemo treatment with me. YOU will celebrate the end with me! I feel YOU standing behind me, standing beside me and helping me fight this fight to kick Cancer's ASS!  Without each and everyone of YOU each and every single day, I would be in a deep, dark, hole. Instead, I'm smiling, laughing, hugging kids, being a mom, a wife, a daughter. I'm driving carpool, going to boot camp, eating whatever I want, sitting on the couch, sleeping good at night and feeling like a million bucks...all because of YOU and my faith in GOD that this is it, this is my life-changing, character building, little detour that I believe in my heart will never, ever happen again! THIS IS IT, this is the one shot Satan had and he blew it!

Have you found your happy?  Have you found your reason for being?  I'd like to say I have, but honestly, no, I haven't. Why are we here? Why are we here on earth? Ultimately we are here on Earth to get closer to GOD! Right? Our ultimate destination is Heaven, right? Isn't that what we all strive for? Maybe we aren't at that turning point yet, but what we do on Earth is what GOD will use to judge us with on judgement day and the scary part, we don't know when that is! We are suppose to do what is pleasing to HIM, and that includes making yourself happy. My grandma was never happy with her physical self and finally at 70 something she told me she was tired of fighting it and she was just going to accept her body for what it was. She struggled with her self image all her life-who wants to live like that? And you couldn't have met someone that was closer to GOD. She could quote the bible all day long. She loved him and he loved her, but she never gave her trust to him with her physical self. Don't live 70 years with any struggles, just give it to him-pray to him even if about your physical self.

I've learned over the years, and more so recently. In order to be my best I've got to surround myself with positive people, with people who want me to be my best. I've got to have good energy, not just now, but always. If I have toxic people in my life, I waste my energy. And I'm happy to say I don't have any toxic people in my life. I will happily say I've got great friends & family, I'm surrounded by good people. To create good energy on a daily basis, I pray. Praying to GOD gives me good energy. It energizes my soul. I feel GOD is with me each day, for real! I listen to good music, good songs, songs that make my heart feel good. I do things that make me happy, exercising is another good one. I get up at 5am (right now just twice a week), but it feels so great to get up, get out, pump my blood through my body, chat with my Boot Camp friends. It gives me energy for the day! I'm Happy, Happy with my kids, Happy with Rob. Happiness is fuel for the soul. All these things I do on a daily basis are good for me. They make me happy! Try it, try changing your attitude about life. You only have 1 shot at it!

So, I ranted again...felt it all come to me yesterday!  In a few short words, all is good. Nothing to speak of. I'm still getting hot flashes, but seriously, that's nothing. Next week I see Dr. Nelson again for another review of my blood work!  Surely with how good I feel it's got to be good!

Please add my brother, Karl to your prayers he's in the hospital for pneumonia in both lungs and he's younger than me!

There's many other people that need prayers too. I know them, you do to..maybe you need prayers. So, hugs, kisses, prayers and many thanks to all of you each and every day!!  Love to you!

P.S....I really haven't changed too much. My Type A is rearing it's ugly head. I'm about 98% done with Christmas shopping. And the remaining 2% I just need to buy-I know what I need!!  ;)  Jealous?

4 To Go!!  Then I can begin my final round of chemo!

I will finish Taxol the day before Thanksgiving and start the 1st of 4 AC (the red devil) treatments on Dec. 5th!

I'm looking forward to only having to give my blood 8 more times, ONLY 8 more pricks of the needle in my port, ONLY 8 more times to go through my routine of checking in for chemo (sign in, weight, BP, Temp., give my name and patient # to about 5 different people that day) and only 8 more times to sit in the chair and hope the room I'm in has a good TV!  (yes, I read too). You'd think all the TV's were the same in each room-NOPE, they aren't. Darn TV's...I really wanted to see the Today Show Halloween Special and I got the non-local station TV!  I heard it was a good one, a throw back Saturday Night Live!  I love those skits, the ones today are far below my age group and I don't enjoy them anymore-Did I just age myself?

I finished my chemo about 10am, then Rob and I went to the Verizon store where my new iPhone 6 had finally arrived! We were in the store longer than my chemo treatment took.  I FINALLY switched from ATT to Verizon. I'd been with Cingular/ATT since 1995! I was finally tired enough of dropped calls and the M-Cell deciding when it wanted to work!  Needless to say, it's all done and I no longer have to hear about it!

Halloween was nice and quiet!  Hard to imagine a Friday night Halloween that is quiet. We had our neighborhood party (you like my wig?), kids trick or treated, just pretty uneventful and not as crazy as it has been in the past! The LaCoste family (great friends and neighbors who just moved to Austin last weekend) came in town to tie up the remaining loose ends, stayed with us. We, along with several other neighbors all hung out in the front driveway sitting around our fire pit!  What a perfect night to sit in front of a fire!

Saturday was full of Basketball, Soccer, Volleyball and Football! Kids all had fun and we are all exhausted!  Thankfully games didn't start until noon. And with such a busy day, we had to rush and say goodbye to the LaCoste's so it was a painless, quick, no time to think goodbye! ;(

I don't have much to report, except all seems well! I'm still getting cards, food, and flowers and all is so heart warming, touching and gives me great strength!
A friend gave me little prayer cards with each item she brought over the other day. On the back of each card, it asks you to ask God something. One said "If you could wish for one thing in 5 years what would it be?" How fitting is that?  Well, we all know in 5 years what I'd wish for-NO CANCER, A CLEAN BILL OF HEALTH!  Thanks Jenn!

Side effects are still minimal, I have hair, albeit thin. I've been wearing hats to cover my head. I finally found that walking around with thin hair is quit chilling. I was cold every where I went last week. So, out came the hats. And I will have to wear my wig to church. As Nathan said to me this morning: "Mom, can I say something rude about your hair?" Sure, go ahead. "You know the old lady that sits in front of us in church?" (She's 95!). Yes Nathan, as I knew right where this was going, "well, you kinda look like her!"  I just had to laugh, I guess I probably do look like a 95 year old with thinning hair! Other than the hair, I'm getting the hot flashes pretty frequently, but they are pretty short and sweet. Still have the flushed feeling the day after. All these little things are getting pretty routine and I'm so thankful for them over really sick!

Until next time,

Remember, GOD wants you to ask things of Him!  He wants to know what you want!  SO, ask? Be specific, Talk to Him, Tell him your wants and needs!  GO-ON!  Try it, you'll be amazed at the responses you get!

Happy All Saints Day!

Hugs, Kisses, & my Prayers to you, especially with those that are struggling for whatever reason. May you find Peace and Joy as this Holiday season gets under way!

;)