3, Three, Tres, Trois TO GO!!! So flipping excited!!!  I'm ready to get on with the AC!!  I don't want to rush the holidays and I"m trying to sloooooowwwww down, trying, but really, I just want it all to hurry up and get here and "get er done!"

Finally, Finally, I applied the lidocaine on twice before I got stuck with chemo needle! And I didn't feel a thing! You'd think I'd learn sooner, better late than never! I got a good look at it today and that sucker is as big as a large safety pin!  And they have to push it in to get it in the port!  Speaking of the port, did you know it's sewn to my muscles. No wonder I feel a pulling, no wonder it's not comfortable. UGH...!  Oh well, only 7 more times to 'prick' it!!

I know my posts can get long and wow it sure seems like I have a lot to say. I am overwhelmed with the amount of people who tell me on a daily basis how they love my posts! WOW, y'all that is so humbling, so appreciative. I didn't intend it to be this way, but you know, when you hear those words "you have cancer, " you can't hide! When you have a double mastectomy you can't deny what's happening to you. You can't go through chemo and remain weak on the other side. You become stronger, stronger than you were before. You do a lot of soul searching. You dig down deep to over come demons. I haven't seen any-Yet, but I fight, I use my shield OF GOD to ward off the arrows of the devil.  He's trying, he's trying to get to all of us and he tried with cancer-I got news for him...AIN'T GONNA HAPPEN, NOPE, NODDA, NOT HERE, NOT WITH ME!  Therefore, in my daily fight, I dig down and out comes what I post-It's what's in my heart.  I won't say I've changed. I've brought to the forefront what I've always had. I know I'm strong, I know I'm positive and I know I love GOD. Add all that up and here you have it. AND you know, I'm getting stronger, more positive, and even closer to GOD with each and every week that passes.

As I was standing at Emma's soccer practice the other day a friend and I were talking about all the support I get from all of you! IT IS ABSOLUTELY AMAZING!!! Here's what it feels like. Picture me standing on a huge field, bigger than a football field, maybe like several fields together. I'm standing there, my family right behind me, God next to me and each and every single one of you behind me. YOU are holding me up. YOU are walking this walk with me. YOU are giving me strength. YOU are keeping my attitude positive. YOU are going to each chemo treatment with me. YOU will celebrate the end with me! I feel YOU standing behind me, standing beside me and helping me fight this fight to kick Cancer's ASS!  Without each and everyone of YOU each and every single day, I would be in a deep, dark, hole. Instead, I'm smiling, laughing, hugging kids, being a mom, a wife, a daughter. I'm driving carpool, going to boot camp, eating whatever I want, sitting on the couch, sleeping good at night and feeling like a million bucks...all because of YOU and my faith in GOD that this is it, this is my life-changing, character building, little detour that I believe in my heart will never, ever happen again! THIS IS IT, this is the one shot Satan had and he blew it!

Have you found your happy?  Have you found your reason for being?  I'd like to say I have, but honestly, no, I haven't. Why are we here? Why are we here on earth? Ultimately we are here on Earth to get closer to GOD! Right? Our ultimate destination is Heaven, right? Isn't that what we all strive for? Maybe we aren't at that turning point yet, but what we do on Earth is what GOD will use to judge us with on judgement day and the scary part, we don't know when that is! We are suppose to do what is pleasing to HIM, and that includes making yourself happy. My grandma was never happy with her physical self and finally at 70 something she told me she was tired of fighting it and she was just going to accept her body for what it was. She struggled with her self image all her life-who wants to live like that? And you couldn't have met someone that was closer to GOD. She could quote the bible all day long. She loved him and he loved her, but she never gave her trust to him with her physical self. Don't live 70 years with any struggles, just give it to him-pray to him even if about your physical self.

I've learned over the years, and more so recently. In order to be my best I've got to surround myself with positive people, with people who want me to be my best. I've got to have good energy, not just now, but always. If I have toxic people in my life, I waste my energy. And I'm happy to say I don't have any toxic people in my life. I will happily say I've got great friends & family, I'm surrounded by good people. To create good energy on a daily basis, I pray. Praying to GOD gives me good energy. It energizes my soul. I feel GOD is with me each day, for real! I listen to good music, good songs, songs that make my heart feel good. I do things that make me happy, exercising is another good one. I get up at 5am (right now just twice a week), but it feels so great to get up, get out, pump my blood through my body, chat with my Boot Camp friends. It gives me energy for the day! I'm Happy, Happy with my kids, Happy with Rob. Happiness is fuel for the soul. All these things I do on a daily basis are good for me. They make me happy! Try it, try changing your attitude about life. You only have 1 shot at it!

So, I ranted again...felt it all come to me yesterday!  In a few short words, all is good. Nothing to speak of. I'm still getting hot flashes, but seriously, that's nothing. Next week I see Dr. Nelson again for another review of my blood work!  Surely with how good I feel it's got to be good!

Please add my brother, Karl to your prayers he's in the hospital for pneumonia in both lungs and he's younger than me!

There's many other people that need prayers too. I know them, you do to..maybe you need prayers. So, hugs, kisses, prayers and many thanks to all of you each and every day!!  Love to you!

P.S....I really haven't changed too much. My Type A is rearing it's ugly head. I'm about 98% done with Christmas shopping. And the remaining 2% I just need to buy-I know what I need!!  ;)  Jealous?