So glad to be home!  I'm able to sleep all night, on my back;(. However, I still wake up to go to the restroom, but at least I'm not in pain.  My pain is hard to describe.  I feel like a huge weight, at least 25lbs are on my chest.  I'm sore, but moving my arms up and out a lot, not too much, but not allowing them to get stiff. (I was told to do this). My chest is still numb so I don't feel much.  I'm able to shower on my own-woohoo!  I have a lanyard around my neck to hold the 5 drain tubes!  Seriously, do I really need 5?  Hopefully this week when I see Dr. Gordley I'll loose a few. They aren't all filling any more. I have to empty them twice a day and record how much fluid I have in each. I have this nifty little tank top (Thanks Kristi H.for telling me about it) that has little pouches to hold the drains, it's perfect. It actually fits 2-3 in each pouch. This tank top is only found at the Dillards here in The Woodlands.  They have to have so many hours in bra fitting to be certified to sell this tank top and Dr. Fitzsullivan worked with them to get this tank top.  It really is nice to have the drains all tucked up.  Rob says the drains look like those cool aide type drinks that come in little round things...I think of them as grenades!  And one of my(male) nurses even said they look like icee toppings!  GROSS!
And, like I said before, I'm a walking smiley face. C-sec. scare, belly button, and slanty eyes up top!  It makes me smile. However, nothing looks good now, swelling, you can see the empty expanders, drain tubes, and then they're coming out of me all alien like. Needless to say I look like I've been in war. And in all honesty I guess I have!  And I'm winning!
I'm trying to get off the pain meds, they make me feel tired, loopy and just plain yucky. I'm suppose to take 2 tablets every 4 hours and I'm down to half a tab every 4 hours. And it seems to be fine. I also cut the anti-nausea meds in half. No, I'm not being stubborn, just feel better off the meds than on. If I can go just about 8 hrs at night without meds I might as well try during the day!!
My appetite isn't there, although I'm trying to eat so I don't get an upset stomach. I weighed myself for the first time since surgery and I only lost 2 lbs. (no I'm not trying to loose weight-I promise) Ha Ha, my boobs didn't weigh anything! I'm sure the weight loss is coming from not eating much.
Oh and for the vision. I can see far away as normal with my glasses/contacts. But I still can't read and thankfully my dad left me his readers. Although I can't see with the readers unless I have my contacts on. So, now I'm a little old lady with boobs (the drains) hanging down to my waist and readers! Yes, The drains hanging down look like super saggy boobs! Hopefully once the meds are out of my system my vision will come back.
And the only other annoying thing is the insertion point where the drains come out. I think I am starting to feel the stitches that are holding the drains tubes in. Oh well!  All this for the price of having my health will be worth it!
The kids are doing good. I think, I hope. They are all good about hugging me around my neck. Emma doesn't seemed fazed, she's just careful around me. Nathan is just going about his business as usual. I think, well, I'm positive Natalie is trying very hard to take the pressure off me, Rob and my mom. She gets up every morning, makes her bed and fixes her own breakfast and then takes Max for a walk. She's having to mature really fast and for that I'm sad. I'm hoping by time school starts (Aug. 25) we are somewhat back to normal so she can be a kid again. I know I'll start chemo sometime soon after that and may not be 100%. But, I at least I won't have drains and my chest pain will cease.
I'm curious, but not keeping my hopes up for the final pathology. I'm officially a stage 2 and I know that could change to a 3 (depending on the lymph nodes). But, it all doesn't really matter now. I know for a fact chemo and radiation are in my future and my final reconstruction won't be until Spring of 2015. I know I'll loose my hair and that's ok too. I'm going to visit the wig place next week sometime so they can see me with my hair and hopefully match something. Although this hair is hard to replicate. I know it'll grow back, hopefully with curls. I like my curls, their easy. And my kids say my hair is my trademark. I don't care about the color. I get tired of having to be blonde (yes, it once was blonde without highlights), so maybe a new me will be a little darker!
All in all I'm good and so thankful for everything everyone has done and will do for me!  The support is amazing, the love is good, and I know God is taking care of me! My response to everyone is simply THANX! But that thanx comes with a ton of meaning. From the bottom of my heart, Thanx!! They say it takes a village to raise kids, well it is taking a village to heal me!  I feel it, I am actually relaxed, resting and barking orders :) and not getting up to do simple things.
Thanks again for everything!  Love, hugs and kisses to everyone.