4 down!  8 to go!

Happy October-National Breast Cancer awareness month! If you haven't had your mammogram or think you want one earlier than your dr. recommends GO DO IT!  Also, something I didn't realize, but if you have dense tissue (I did), and there is anything suspicious on your mammo, or just because you want to, request an ultrasound! GO with your GUT! GET CHECKED!

Yesterday, Thursday, I met with Dr. Nelson (my oncologist). We went over my bloodwork. Everything looks normal, nothing is low. However, my numbers are lower than each previous week. Spotting a trend, if numbers are decreasing, will that continue? Dr. Nelson said not necessarily, there could be weeks my numbers stay the same or even increase. Several things they look at are my WBC.  The hemoglobin counts, my platelet counts, and another one they call the NAC (neutrophil absolute count) this is called the baby WBC or reserves. The bone marrow produces the babies and sends them to your blood to mature. Even if your WBC counts are low, if you have a lot of babies, no worries. My babies are good!  Each week I give blood and each week my numbers are checked, and every 3 weeks I meet with Dr. Nelson to discuss the numbers. Now, what do we do when all gets low? Because it will-maybe! I was told there are 1000 different scenarios. AND, you can get chemo even if your blood counts are low. One question I had was about volunteering at the kids schools for Christmas parties, etc. (because I already signed up). Dr. Nelson said don't worry about it, sign up, wash your hands and don't let kids cough on you! I had several other questions, and after the 1st one, Dr. Nelson took a seat.

1) If my cancer is estrogen positive, and my ovaries produce estrogen, after chemo is completed and we start tamoxifin, HOW DO WE KNOW I'M STILL NOT PRODUCING ESTROGEN?  Good question he said. After I'm finished with tamoxifin in 5 years, if I'm still pre-menopausal then we'll go another 5 years. He wants me post-menopausal. Cancer is less likely to return in post-menopausal women. That is why women who are older typically won't be as aggressive with chemo, etc. It's not reasonable to continually have scans, MRI's, ultrasounds, etc. looking for a tumor. This is where I have to know my body and notice any changes in how I feel. I have to continue self-exams monthly and feel for any lumps. Which should be noticeable with reconstruction. They'll most likely return under my skin. And then I'll have regular checkups frequently with him and continue to give blood!  (good thing the hospital allows me leave my car in valet and I'm usually in and out of the blood center in under 10 min.-Can't beat that service!). One more way to make my life easier in this complicated world of a cancer patient.

2) I've never been told percentages, life expectancy, etc. But I hear/read about people who are given those statistics. SO, WHAT WOULD BE MY CHANCE FOR SURVIVAL? Dr. Nelson pulls up a computer program that will calculate all my information and give me some hard core stats! After he entered all my data, type of cancer, size, my info, up come some percentages. If I were to only have surgery to remove my tumor (remember I was 41 at diagnosis and now 42-this is for me, not everyone) I would have a 51% chance for reoccurrence. WOW, that's crazy. So, add in chemo, radiation, & tamoxifin, I have about 10-15% chance for reoccurrence. Because my cancer was stage 2 (in the lymph nodes, albeit 2) I cannot get under 10%. OH, add a 1% chance that I'll die from any other causes!  Not bad huh?

3)DO I HAVE TO STAY ON THE FULL DOSE OF BENADRYL? I told Dr. Nelson it knocks me out...and then I don't sleep that night and even into the next night!! He said liquid benadryl takes about 6-8 hours to leave the system-AHA, that's why I sleep the rest of the day!  He switched me from liquid benadryl to a pill form of claritin!!  YEA!!  And the nurse giving my chemo said if I was at all worried to not be because some dr.'s only prescribe steroids to fight the allergic reactions. And I have steroids, anti-nausea, and claritin. AND, Dr. Nelson reassured me I would probably not have an allergic reaction to the taxol if I hadn't already. He said most people will get a reaction the 1st time, if not then, maybe the 2nd. And he' hardly ever heard of a person getting the reaction the 3rd time and beyond if they haven't had one at the 1st or 2nd dose.  SO, I just may be in the clear!!!

All in all, ALL is GREAT!!  If I have to have cancer, If I have to have chemo, I'm doing superb! THANKS BE TO GOD!  I have no side effects!  I have little to no pain now that I haven't had any more saline. And am rarely taking pain pills. I'm getting used to the rocks that I have strapped to my chest and am kinda forgetting about them. When I get in the shower I forget for a moment and feel like I still have a very tight sports bra still on. To be honest I feel like something is on me that is not natural, and I do! But, oh well, this is minor!

Today was a great day for chemo. The weather was beautiful, and I didn't sleep one little bit! Yes, it made the treatment seem longer, but I got to read and feel normal leaving the hospital. I felt like I could actually accomplish something beyond sleeping all afternoon. Of course the TV was broken so it was just me and Rob reading and me talking-I think he'd prefer me to sleep so he could read more. Oh well, too bad! And, I ran into my good friend Kristi. Unfortunately we were both getting treatment and that sucks, but seeing her put a smile on my face! I was surprised when she popped in my room because we'd been texting about a funny story regarding her dad!  All I could think about today was him and it was making me laugh out loud! Thanks Larry! Nothing like getting chemo and being able to laugh.

And on the hair front. As a curly headed person, I lost hair daily, prior to chemo. Little strands fall out and are usually present on clothing. And now, just more so. It doesn't shock me because I'm so used to seeing my hair every where, and so are the kids. Now, I grab my hair and pull and hair just comes out, and then I just stop. I still have a lot of hair-SHOCKING!  Hopefully I can make it 1 more week and get to the In The Pink luncheon next Friday. After that, I'll be ready to shave it. Maybe, the time is coming and my mind is getting prepared. Maybe I'm just ready to move on and get down to it. The fact that more people will stare and more people that I see on a daily basis that don't know my diagnosis will now start asking questions. Maybe I'll start looking sick, but I sure hope not. I hope I can continue as is. I feel like I'm so high on life right now. I feel as though GOD has lifted me up so high that feeling down is just too far away. Naive, maybe, but Life is Good, and I don't want this little detour to distract me or my kids of the bigger picture.  It could be worse! I feel like even if I get sad or blue, it won't be for long. Why waste my time! Another reason I might be feeling so good is because I've been back to boot camp for 2 weeks now. I still don't do much, modification is the key. Just getting up and out and accomplishing something I made such a habit of doing before cancer is very rewarding. And I cannot forget my family and friends. YOU, each and everyone of YOU, lift me up, each and every day! What a support group! It's so true, you have to have a village, and boy do I ever!  THANKS AGAIN EACH OF YOU WHO CALL, TEXT, SMILE, WAVE, SEND GIFTS (although not necessary), FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!

Go find some pink, wear it proudly and support those women who hear those awful words, YOU HAVE BREAST CANCER. Get your mammogram, and don't be afraid to request it before age 40.
If you have questions, concerns, want some advice, please don't hesitate to ask. Honestly, just because I'm going through it doesn't mean I can't talk more about it or help someone else. This is about me, but the tide can turn and easily be about you. Don't fear, don't be afraid, follow your gut.

Love yourself, Love GOD, trust, and HAVE FAITH.....