In the last 2 weeks I've had 2 appointments, 1 with my Dr. Gordley (plastic surgeon) and the other was my 6 month check up with Dr. Fitzsullivan (my breast cancer surgeon). First things first. Dr. Gordley. When I saw him about 1 week post op back in May he said, "see you in 6 weeks for nipple reconstruction!" WHAT?? I wasn't going to do that. I told him I was unsure of the nipple reconstruction, that I had just considered the nipple tattooing. He began to explain that the 3-D (that's what they call it) isn't really all it's cracked up to be. It may look real in pictures on the computer, but in person if you aren't looking straight on, it doesn't look that real. But he really expressed how important it was to 'do something!'  Not just leave my breast with the simple scars. After thinking about it, I totally agree. Passing by the mirror in the bathroom, showering, etc. and constantly seeing that I'm not 100% normal can wear on your brain after a while. BUT, seeing, even if it's a tattoo, will play tricks on your brain and make you somewhat forget! Upon leaving Dr. Gordley, we scheduled a 4 week visit to further discuss my plans. For a while, I thought, ok, fine-he suggested it, so I guess I'll do the nipple reconstruction. It's an in office visit, the skin is snipped and folded and made into a bump. (google it if you want more visual-hard to imagine in your mind). Then the more I began to think, the more I began to really think I don't forever want to have my high beams on (if you know what I mean). After all, I can get away without a padded bra now, even go braless if I so choose. Why would I want something sticking out 24/7...right?  So now what? As I approached the week leading up to my visit with Dr. Gordley I started thinking, talking, investigating what to do. I had previously talked with another breast cancer friend back in the Spring and she mentioned a name, a tattoo artist, Vinnie Myers. He's based out of Baltimore but goes to New Orleans for nipple tattooing. I brushed this off at the time as I wasn't in a position to make any decisions about it. Fast Forward to my week prior to my dr. visit. 

On Monday, I just so happen to bring it up to this same friend and she sent me the link to look up (google Vinnie Myers nipple tattooing). I spent several hours looking at every picture he had online, reading all about him, etc. He was your typical tattoo artist, but dons a bowler hat, seersucker suits and wing tip shoes. One day he was asked to do a nipple tattoo and realized he had so many more options in the tattoo industry than those in the reconstruction business. He knew how to mix colors to make things look more real. Because we all are different in all ways. He'd gotten so busy with nipple tattooing that he wasn't able to do what he really enjoyed and that was good ole fashion tattoos. So he decided to hang it up. He says, "30 minutes after I told my staff no more, my sister called saying she was diagnosed with breast cancer." And there you have it, he strictly does nipple tattooing. bHis shop in Baltimore is busy, and he comes to a breast reconstruction facility in New Orleans. He has several others working for him in the nipple tattooing area, and they travel all around the country, however, upon seeing Vinnie's tattoos why go to anyone else? They look AMAZING. After my own research, I was still up in the air and didn't make any firm decisions. After all, he doesn't bill insurance, you pay cash and then can submit for reimbursement, hopefully. (about $1000 for tattooing). 

The next day, Tuesday, I spoke with another person (no names here), and she really suggested I look more into the tattooing vs. the reconstruction, but highly suggested to 'do something!' She promised to do some of her own research and get back with me. By Wednesday, my mom called saying she was reading ELLE magazine at the nail saloon and said there was an article in there about nipple tattooing after cancer. I told her about my research on Vinnie and she really thought this article was about him. (she went back to the saloon and asked them if she could have this magazine as it wasn't on the store shelves anymore). Sure enough this article was all about Vinnie!! By Thursday, my no name source got back to me and said 2 people with good insight, highly suggested the nipple tattooing and yes, you guessed it, both people mentioned Vinnie. I took these 4 days with hearing Vinnie's name as a sign. I decided I wanted a 'VINNIE!' I called the Baltimore office and they are booked through 2015 and sometime this summer will open their 2016 calendar. I don't really want to go to Baltimore so I decided to call the breast reconstruction center in New Orleans and talk to them. They are also booked through 2015 and told me to call back in September for booking in 2016. WOW, Now I really have time to think about it and make sure it's really what I want. Vinnie does like to wait 5-6 months after your final surgery before he tattoo's. He likes to wait because apparently the skin can shrink up somewhat, the implants need to settle, etc. ***Please don't worry, I won't be in any normal tattoo pain, I'm still numb in and around all over my breasts & armpit, so I won't feel a thing.***

And now comes my appointment with Dr. Gordley. I'm nervous as I don't like to tell people 'no thanks, I'm not doing what you suggest.' He once again asked me about the reconstruction and I went ahead with telling him I'd go see this Vinnie guy. Dr. Gordley proceeded to tell me he has always wanted to bring in a tattoo artist that does nipple tattooing and let him learn with better tools, colors, etc. (Dr. Gordley does aerola tattooing, but never nipple 3-D). He offered to bring in this person and let me participate. WOW, what a great offer. But, then again, I haven't seen this other persons work, I don't want it too look bad, I want the BEST. So, as of now, I'm going to get a 'Vinnie' and be done with all this once and for all.

Upon leaving Dr. Gordley, he said come back in a year!  OMG, I've seen him almost weekly for an entire year, I've seen him more than any other dr. during this journey. What a bitter sweet ending!  (I immediately went and ordered an edible arrangement for his office to thank them!).

And for my 2nd appointment, I saw Dr. Fitzsullivan for a 6th month check up. I won't bore you with details, nurse assessments, talking to the PA, etc. (although the PA asked me what I was going to do about my nipples. I told her I was going to get a 'Vinnie' and she smiled and said great choice)!!!  Dr. Fitzsullivan came in, examined me. We talked about small things, family, radiation, etc. I asked about my left armpit (where my lymph node scar is) and this weird feeling I have. She said it was scar tissue and that I could massage it to break it up. It has such a weird feeling, and has for 9 months now. I told her I feel like my skin, my fat, muscle, whatever is hanging over this weird area. She proceeded to smile and say, 'this is nothing, I should see really large women.' They have huge flaps hanging over. But, rubbing, massaging, etc. will make it go away. I've been doing just that and, wow, what a difference a week makes!  It's getting better each day. I left Dr. Fitzsullivan with a clean bill of health, expecting nothing else but that. I later got an email appointment notification from MDAnderson saying my next appointment with her was in 1 year. I'm now on a yearly visit with my plastic surgeon, my radiologist, my breast surgeon, & my obgyn. I do have to see my oncologist every 4 months for bloodwork and more exams. But, I'll happily see anyone that will tell me I'm healthy. WOW, this year is really over. It's done, I'm all finished (I won't count the tattooing, as going to New Orleans is going to be fun). 

Upon writing this, I do have 2 friends fighting for their lives!  One is Breast Cancer, metastasized. The other is another cancer, very serious. This cancer crap really sucks. I know we all say it, we all mean it. But when you've been there and you think about the worse case scenario, you think about your family, your life, etc. It overwhelms you. It overwhelms your brain every time you hear the word. It doesn't discriminate. For all these innocent people, children, etc. I pray. And I ask you pray too.

I have another visit with Dr. Nelson (my oncologist) in August and will report after that, if not before. 

I also have been hearing more and more about Breast Cancer Awareness month in October. (as I'm having meetings, & planning for my children's sports in the Fall, this topic has come up). Last Oct. was pretty meaningful. I was knee deep in Chemo with a long road ahead of me. This year will be so different, and I can already feel the overwhelming sense of emotion. I will have celebrated 1 year of being a survivor. And that makes me dig deep and think about what being a survivor means. I'm sure over the next few months I will have many emotions, thoughts and talks with God. Stay tuned...

Please continue to pray for all the innocent people out there who have been afflicted with cancer. And I pray for you as well.

Thank you, love, hugs and prayers! HVE FTH!