Christmas was fantastic! The kids, the magic, all the great fun! Then, New Year's Eve rolls around and I started getting pain in my left side again. The swelling followed, again by redness and a slight fever. UGH! By time the neighbors started lighting fireworks on the street and surrounding houses lighting them on the golf courses, our dog going crazy and barking as loud as he could, I was miserable and just wanted to curl up in a little ball, NYE was not longer any fun. Therefore, the first thing I did on New Year's Day, was call Dr. Gordley. He so kindly prescribed antibiotics again, but warned me it is a very real possibility the expander will need to come out. The reason for the removal is because the expander (being a foreign object) is holding onto the bacteria causing my infections. On Friday, Jan. 2nd he drained more fluid. Thankfully as of today, Monday, the fluid has not returned and the antibiotics seem to be working! Let's just hope the infection stays away this time! (I'm tired of popping giant white powdery pills)!
Friday, Jan. 2nd was also my chemo day. Rob took all 3 kids hunting to Freer and my mom came to spend the weekend with me. I will say as great as my mom is and as much as I love her, it's not the same as having Rob at chemo with me. Not that she did or didn't do anything, it just wasn't the same. Therefore I'll say this again and again....I COULD NOT HAVE DONE THIS WITHOUT ROB!
I'm so thankful he had the chance to take the kids out of town, and let them run free. I'm so glad they got to run around with their cousins, and just be kids. BUT, I'm so glad he and the kids were here every step of the way during my chemo treatments. Saturday was extremely sluggish and I think I slept the majority of the day. As I went to bed that night, I begged God to make Sunday better! And, once again, HE came through. Sunday was much better. As the day went on I realized I was sore from sitting around all day Saturday-ugh! I was so excited when the kids came home, to hear about their trip and their repeated chants of "what happens at the dear lease, stays at the deer lease!" As, empty boxes of nerds candy fall out, uneaten bags of chips that now clutter my pantry and Nathan complaining of a headache, probably because he's having caffeine withdrawals. And of course the loads and loads of laundry that now line my laundry room floor.
Thank goodness today, Monday is a no school day!! The poor kids slept all morning! And, I feel a little bit blah....I'm tired of not wanting to eat, but hungry. I'm tired of wanting to exercise, seeing all the New Year's 'get back in shape' deals, and not being able to work out and feel like my old self. I'm tired of not scooping the kids up and just saying 'get in the car,' and taking them somewhere. I'm tired of wearing a hat because of my cold, bald head. I'm tired of my chest hurting and wondering if reconstruction is worth the pain. I'm tired of chemo, I'm tired of the port, I'm tired of the medicines, I'm tired of my tongue feeling funny, I'm tired of it all. OK, there I said it...That's my pity party. I'm ready to be done and maybe I'm ready because I can see the end....in less than 2 weeks I'll be done...finished....!
Tomorrow starts a new day, I can take the kids to school, and get back into a routine. Instead of thinking about every Friday being a treatment day, I only have 1 day. Radiation will come but at least I'm not putting toxins in my body. I'll start to plan my final reconstruction surgery. I am almost at the top of my mountain, and I'm ready to take my giant step off....I'm ready for the future, the New Year and being
I thank GOD for the strength to finish this journey. I try to think of all the other cancer patients out there and the battles that still face them. I will honestly say, cancer sucks, it bites, it's awful, and who ever has had to go through it is definitely a warrior like no other. I'm not patting myself on the back, because if you ask me on a good day, I'll tell you my journey wasn't so bad. It could've been worse, I've been lucky, I've been blessed! And not only do I thank GOD for my blessings, but I thank you all for supporting me and giving me strength to fight each day. I just have to tell myself to Have Faith! Faith is the realization of what is hoped for and evidence of the things not seen. Hebrew 11:1
Faith in the future, Faith my normal life will return, Faith in GOD!
Hugs, prayers, and love to you all....
**My dad went into the hospital Christmas night after having a fever. He's been there ever since. He started treatments for Aplastic Anemia and will go home today. He will continue to have blood drawn and weekly transfusions until we know the treatments for the AA has worked. Thanks for keeping him in your prayers as well....this journey has been difficult for him and Linda! But once again a shout out to the wonderful Dr.'s at MDA!!
The holidays are behind us and a new year has entered our world. Great to finally catch up on all your latest news. Must feel relieved to have come almost to the end of the awful medicine pumped into your body but on the other side of the coin, may it take away the nastiness and cruel torment of your issue. The Lord is always on your side, morning, noon and night. His phone line is never busy, He always takes calls 24/7. Christmas was a spiritual day for me this year, not so into material things any more. New Years was quiet, reading a book which I am actually enjoying at this moment., Plan on sharing it with you when I finish it. It is "Living Simply in God's Abundance." A story on strength and comfort for the seasons of a woman's life. Actually written about west TX and the Austin area. A gift, which seems like it was supposed to be read by me.
ReplyDeleteThe cami pics of the girls were cool, they are growing up before my eyes. The school pics are awesome, beautiful teeth, gorgeous eyes and Nathan is so handsome. I am so blessed with all my grandchildren. God is good to me. All our prayers have been answered for you as we read your blog and note you are doing really well, especially with not having the dreaded naseau. It has passed so rapidly since the beginning and hopefully before you know it, all will be done and you can continue your life as you did before. You will be healthy, wealthy with healing and joy in your life and wiser because you will have the ability to maybe publish your blog and help others going thru what you did thru faith, great doctors and a fantastic army of friends, family and a husband and children who never gave up on your ability to win this war. The kids love spending time with their Dad and he with them. I am so grateful he shares his experiences with them with me. It brings me closer to them even though the miles between are many. I love him for it. I close with, "may health be yours, wealth be yours, but more than all, contentment. Thank you for my gifts, especially the wall hanging of "a bushel and a peck." We have your Dad on all our prayer lists and hope his issues will be diagnosed and the healing meds can begin. Sending love and prayers to all of you from all of us. Lois