Well, it's official, I actually think I'm really done with surgeries!  And if not, I know the routine and what meds I can and cannot take while in recovery.  My surgery was scheduled for noon yesterday. The post-op was running behind because the hospital was full and they had no beds to move patients to. So, I didn't get wheeled off until 1:30. While waiting in pre-op I got to see many familiar faces (since this is my 5th surgery at this hospital). Everyone was popping in commenting on my hair!!! (see picture of my "Welcome back Kotter" style!) One nurse even asked to feel it!  HA HA!!!  As it got time for me to get my 'forget everything' meds, the CRNA-Terre came in (she is my favorite of them all). She knows Rob very well and just sat and talked with me forever before I went in yesterday. Last year when I had my mastectomy and 2 days later had to have the lymph nodes removed, she came in and just sat with me then too. Having to have 2 surgeries within 2 days is difficult and she looked at me when she could see my distress of having to go in again and said she had my 'forget everything' meds and I could have them early if I wanted. I took her up on the deal. My biggest problem with all these surgeries is the morphine. I've learned now to say I don't want it and that makes a huge difference in how I feel. Anyway, I finally got wheeled back and the last thing I remember was turning down the hall toward the OR. When I woke up in post-op, Terre was there. Post-op was backed up again so she sat with me in the OR for 30 minutes.  She said I was just talking in my sleep!! Once I woke up I was in a lot of pain. And not in my chest or hips but in my groins!  In pre-op Dr. Gordley marked me up on my hips and said he'd probably need to use some fat from my groins as well. Needless to say it was very painful. The nurse gave me delotted (this is another one I will flag to not ever have again), it didn't take any pain away. So then I got hydrocodone, still nothing. He finally gave me another dose of delotted and by this time I'm super loopy!  UGH..this is an awful feeling. AND my groins were still in pain. (I said about a 7 on the 0-10 pain scale). I think I'm still somewhat numb from the last surgery and maybe that's why my sides didn't hurt. Finally, I told the nurse I could go home. About 6pm we finally started to pack it up and my groins started feeling better. I guess the pain meds kicked in! We got home and I started feeling a little, no a lot loopy and had to run to the bath room. My mouth started watering and then all of a sudden it stopped, nothing, nodda!  I decided to eat a little bit and lay down. About 8pm, the loopy went away, no more pain, I mean down to 0! I got in bed about 8:30, after the kids were down. And my mom finally left after being here all day, cooking dinner and taking care of the kids! I had a good night sleep and felt new again this morning. A little sore especially in my groins and chest. I feel as though I've maxed out on the bench press!  But, I can handle soreness. And oh man, the bruising!  My groins aren't that bruised, but my hips are, it's a mess! Needless to say today was a good day, that is until I decided to walk to Emma's school for her Christmas party. It's less than a half mile and by time I got there I was extremely sore and now the rest of the evening I've felt like I over did it.  UGH! (I did not walk home, I hitched a ride). Now for the reality! I don't feel like much has changed on my legs, maybe they are a little swollen, so I can't really tell how much fat is gone. Regardless I don't think I have any left there. My sides look pretty flat too. And for the right side implant....I didn't think he'd give me this big! AGH!! I had 200cc before which was about a 'B' cup. I now have 355cc...YIKES!!! *(sidebar-1/21/16-I just found my implant card from my first surgery and low and behold it says I had 255cc before. Oops, my bad! Dr. Gordley had told me he'd go up about 100cc, so he stayed true to his word).*But, it does match the other side, so I guess he did good. And, he put some fat on top of it so it'd look more like a normal boob, not an implant! And of course there's a bit of swelling, so in a few weeks when it's all gone down and I can start working out again, hopefully it all look just fine. But with a flat belly! All in All I can honestly say, I never thought I'd be talking about plastic surgery on my body. I now can say, I've had a tummy tuck, liposuction and a boob job! But, maybe this summer I'll look a little better in a swim suit and not have to worry about how I got this way. Some silver lining in it all. It's not the way God made me, but it's the way God guided the doctors to heal me and it doesn't bother me, so long as I'm happy and can cherish each day with my family, that's really all that matters.

I showed Natalie some of my bruises this am, and how they put fat on top of my implant. She always  says 'eww' when I show her any of my scars.  She looked at me and said 'how come you're not upset about all this?'  I simply told her, 'I'm happy to be here, being upset won't change any of this, so why waste the time!'  And she looked at me and said, 'oh, you're right!'  I know my kids won't remember all these little bits and pieces and hopefully they won't remember much about my year on chemo. But what I do want them to remember is that beauty does not come from the outside, its what's on the inside. I want them to know that no matter what happens to our physical selves, we can still be happy and proud of who we are. I try not to worry about the mess I'm in now, but focus on the future. The scars will fade, the surgeries will be all part of my past and I will be able to count each year as a blessing that God has given me.

This Christmas season, don't forget about all the others who are going through treatments for whatever ails them. Say a little prayer, thank God for what you have and Be Happy.

Until next year, may you have a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! May all your hopes and dreams come true (and when they don't still count your blessings, for they are many)!